What Does This Mean, Really?

Our son Sam, just returned from two years in Brazil. He was under the gun to earn some money and get registered at USU to begin his college experience. He took the advanced placement math test and did well. With prayer and persistent effort, he made it all happen and aeronautical engineering, here we come.

He attended his first math class. As the teacher began explaining things on the board, what should have been pretty easy, seemed more complicated than he expected. After class, he read the book though, it was was crystal clear to him. He thought about it and after a while realized that in all the years he had studied math, he had never had a teacher. Using Saxon Math, he had taught himself math from grade school, all the way through high school. Imagine that, taught himself. Learning this subject from a teacher was for him, the exception, not the rule.

So is this good or bad? He will certainly encounter college classes where he will need to learn from a teacher. But how cool is it that he has habits of self direction that allow him to be an independent learner? In a subject like math?

As we consider the benefits, goals and hopes for a home schooling life, what balance of self taught and teacher taught do you want to see in your child?

Environment of Trust

How important is trust in the education of your child? Trust between you and them. Trust between siblings?

How effective is instruction in a home where parents don't trust one another?

What if you were sending your children to a public school, and found out that the faculty and staff there had little or no trust one for another? Would you consider that the lack of trust between teachers would have an impact on your child?

Trust is the foundational element in all human relationships. I suppose we begin a relationship with a certain assumption of trust. Then over time our assumption is either vindicated or eroded based on experience.

Trust grows or wanes like this:



From Wikipedia, "In 1958 [William] Schutz introduced a theory of interpersonal relations he called Fundamental Interpersonal Relations Orientation (FIRO). According to the theory three dimensions of interpersonal relations were deemed to be necessary and sufficient to explain most human interaction. The dimensions are: Inclusion, Control and Affection. These dimensions have been used to assess group dynamics."

Trust then, grows or wanes in these three areas much like this diagram.



Schultz makes the point, that each of these three areas must be developed at a reasonable depth between people in order for productive human relationships to be experienced.

For instance, some people who have been abused or who have been abusers, have very low trust scores generally. Therefore in the area of control, they often need over-under relationships with other people instead of equal relationships. One way they accomplish this is passive resistance, showing up late to meetings, etc. President Clinton and his wife are notorious for this behavior, as is President Obama. Shouting down other people. Using moods to manipulate others, staring others down when a disagreement ensues, all because they need total control of not only their own environment, but of others as well.

Similar behaviors are also found in the areas of inclusion and affection. Inclusion asks "am I in or am I out?" Others want to keep others out, especially when they are insecure about their own position or feel they are hiding something. Affection asks the question, "how close are we going to get?" Some people, needing to hide something or because of fear, keep others at a distance or pick one or two as their objects of affection, excluding others. These are scarcity mentalities in any case.

In any group, when major violations of trust have occurred, back stabbing, back biting, blocking, hindering, etc. the group finds itself stuck cycling around and around with no way for progress to be made in the group dynamic.

The point of this is that growing children is like growing plants. It's a lot about the environment. Whether at home or at a public school, when the environment is over controlling, lacking inclusion and affection, the children may do their duty and continue the educational experience, but they will not escape without harm, sometimes significant harm.

If you were to measure your trust environment, on a scale of 1 to 10, how would you measure it?

Whose Values Will They Use In Decision Making?

I hope I haven't written on this topic before. In my old age, my memory fails me from time to time.

On the surface, this post has to do with teaching our children about goal setting and goal achievement. Underneath, it has to do with much more.

The example I read was this. If the goal is to read 10 books in a year, and the goal is no more specific than that, then any 10 books will do. You could read a book on history, a book or two on sports, a few biographies and even some porn and all of it would contribute to the general goal of reading 10 books in a year.

However, what intervenes between setting the goal and achieving the goal is our values. If our values hold that porn is something we avoid like the plague, then that kind of book will not be part of the goal. Determining and being guided by our values, then, plays a really important role as we set goals and strive to achieve them.

Where this comes into focus is asking the question, "Who is more influential in helping my children establish values? The home life of our children, or the school life of our children (meaning schooling outside the home)?". I find this a valid question, because of how demanding in hours and days schooling is, outside of the home. There are at least 6 hours away from home, plus or minus, just in class and the lunchroom. Then add to that time in the bus. Add to that time spent doing the mountains of homework that they often come home with, which causes them to not be able to spend social time with the family at home. Add to that, both parents working in over 50% of the cases, causing them often, to come home tired, irritable and unprepared to focus on managing and shaping home life. The result can often be, that people other than us as parents are having more influence in modeling, teaching, and presenting values, than we as parents do.

One former school teacher I recently conversed with said that in her estimation, over 40% of the children in the public system where she had worked, had parents whose general attitude was to accept whatever the school offered without any questions as to quality or options that might benefit their children. She said, "This group is just happy their children are in school at all."

Of course, not all values outside of the home are negative, and not all values inside the home are positive. Still, for home schooling parents, it is good to remind ourselves that one positive option we have, if we take advantage of it, is to thoughtfully and purposefully execute a plan of influence, that exposes our children, in powerful and meaningful ways, to positive and moral values that will inform their decision making processes as they pursue their own goals, purposefully or coincidentally.

Again, between setting the goal and achieving the goal sit the values of our children, shaping and forming decisions they are making about the details of the goals, ie, the direction of their lives. While this might not seem to be a big deal when the are young, as the good book says, "raise up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it." Part of our home education opportunity, an important part, is exposing our children to positive and moral values that have proven over time to lead to joy and happiness instead of the counterfeits some all to often accept and use as they make life decisions.

Any help we receive from outside the home in the positive shaping of values is always welcomed. All too often, however, upon inspection, we can find, another value set, either from instructors and/or the organizations they work for, creeping into the subtleties of influence of our children work and study under. And what they do or don't do when we are not around, can often be an issue of poor values they adopted without us even knowing it has happened.

So home schoolers! Take advantage of this positive value shaping opportunity you have in your hands, "and when they are old, they ....."

Breathing Out, Breathing In... Revisited!

When was the last time you experienced a melt down with one of your children? The kind of meltdown that leads to some kind of "time out" or banishment into outer space? When this happens, and it happens to all of us at one point or another, there is often this feeling of helplessness. "What do you do when they are just out of control?" you ask. A red faced, teary eyed, jumping up and down, ranting and raving, inconsolable melt down can even be a bit frightening.

My son and daughter in law had just such an experience with Grant. Grant is 3 I think. David came home, and finds that Grant has been "transferred" to the garage to work out his tantrum. He is crying, screaming. I am not sure exactly what Launna said to David, but if it was me, I might have said "You deal with him!". David goes into the garage, and finds the red faced, teary eyed, ... all of it, pitching a fit for no observable reason. So what to do? Whether it was inspiration or exasperation, David said, "Grant, you want to kick a ball? " Grants eyes open, he looks up and nods his still sobbing approval of the idea. David says, "Ok, then go get a ball and meet me in the back yard." Grant runs to his bedroom, opens his closet, begins digging through the pile on the floor, tossing things behind him into the center of the room, like a dog digging a hole, and finally finds the ball. They meet in the back yard and begin kicking the ball. In just a few minutes Grant is centered. The red face has gone away, the sobbing has stopped, and he is laughing and running and settled down again.

As David was relating this to me, I said to him, "Well of course! I blogged about this over a year ago. You know, Silvia Ashton Warner, breath out and breath in." Obvious, of course, to a grandfather living in a remote part of the universe. David reminded me that just because I blogged about something once in my life, that doesn't mean even his #1 son remembers it. "Maybe you need to blog about it again?" he suggested.

So I am. Right now. The short version is this: Silva Ashton Warner was a teacher in New Zealand among the Maori people. She found that when she allowed for an hour or so of creative expression at the beginning of the school day, like singing, drawing, dancing, etc, that when she moved into more formal instruction, these students were more attentive. Even after lunch, she began again with a session of active creativity before teaching. Her label for this was "breath out, breath in." Let them breath out all their energy first, to prepare them to breath in the formal instruction. It makes sense. It works. (The full blog is here).

I believe there were several things that made this work for her. First, this was not a one time event, but part of the regular rhythm of her instructional pattern. Making this activity part of the daily flow, brings a kind of comfort and peace to the kids. Another thing she did, was listen to them as they were playing. She listened for their banter, their story telling, their expressions of life as described in her own words. She listened for the content and she also listened for the words they used. Then she leveraged her observations during her moments of instruction. She used the words already in their vocabulary to teach them to read, write and spell. She used the stories of their own life experience, where she could, to teach arithmetic, social studies and other topics. So not only did this activity time settle the kids down, but it provided, in a very natural way, the fuel with which she build in them a bonfire of learning.

Not too long ago, I was asked to teach a group of 12-13 year olds. There were four points I wanted to make with them. The class was after the dinner hour. I introduced my topic and then said, "But before we get into the first idea, I want to do an activity." Then I set up a relay race and said "go!" They did the race and came back panting. It was at that point, that I gave them the first topic of instruction. When I completed that, I sent them on another running race. They came back tired and breathing hard. I gave them a few minutes to recover and taught item number 2. Then I sent them on another short activity and upon returning taught them item number 3. Then another activity and then the last point. I imagine that to some, this process sounds silly and a waste of time. But I can tell you that at the end, I conducted a review with them, and they not only remembered what I taught, but were all anxious, even the most reluctant ones, to answer and share their take on each point.

Now it is true, that I am 6'4", weight over 300 lbs and have a direct nature about me. So I don't think they were disposed to argue much about the process. However, since then, I have seen other leaders of young men do this and have the same result. In addition, it is no surprise to me, that when Boy Scout Troop meetings begin and end with this kind of physical activity, that the troops organizations grow and thrive. ( I have noticed this idea is too simple for many scoutmasters also too simple for many home schooling parents, I am afraid).

While I am reading like crazy to prepare to go to graduate school this fall, I find myself even doing this same thing myself. Breaking up reading and studying activities with physical activity. (My version of a relay, however, is usually getting up to go to the bathroom.) It does the trick for me as well.

My suggestion is, to use this principle with your children at home in your teaching environment. Teachers in the public setting are always trying new ideas to make their teaching more effective. Why not you? Let us know how it works. In the meantime, I am putting this topic on my calendar to revisit in a year or so. I hope Grant finds himself kicking his ball more often in combination with his learning activities.

More Challenges For Public Education

Not everyone can home school. That is reality. Public schools, charter schools, private schools are the predominant options in that case. However, as it relates to the Pre-school component of any education outside of the home, a report from the largest study of American child care says that keeping a preschooler in a day care center for a year or more increased the likelihood that the child would become disruptive in class later and that the effect persisted through the sixth grade. The researchers reported that the effect was slight, and within the normal range. Parental guidance and genetics had stronger influence on how children behaved. Perhaps unexpectedly the finding held up regardless of gender or family income, and regardless of the quality of the day care center. According to the authors, with more than 2 million American preschoolers attending day care, the increased disruptiveness very likely contributes to the load on teachers who must manage large classrooms. On the other hand, time spent in high-quality day care centers was correlated positively with higher vocabulary scores through elementary school. For more information on this longitudinal and complicated dataset (and other related studies) see http://www.child-encyclopedia.com/Pages/PDF/McCartneyANGxp.pdf

The mind of a home schooling parent

Reading success literature, like "Think and Grow Rich" or "The Secret" or "As A Man Thinketh" I am left to consider the common thread that weaves itself through all of them. It is the idea that somehow the mind is like a heat seeking missile. Once you program the computer in the missile for the target, no matter what winds blow it off it's path, it self corrects, keeps moving toward the acquired target until it finally arrives. Such a missile is constantly seeking to solve the problem, "Now that I have acquired the goal, how to I keep myself moving toward the target?" The minds of home schooling parents are like the computer in the missile. As home educators, we are made acquire targets and to solve problems.

I received a quote from Allison today that represents a target or goal for us as home educators.

"good college teaching is the kind that promises to make the teacher
finally superfluous, the kind that will lead students to want to
continue work in the given subject and to be able to have the
necessary intellectual equipment to continue work at a more advanced
level." Wayne Booth

Link to Wayne Booth Article

For me, this idea is a large part of what I would call, "My Target" as a home schooling parent.

So today's mission, should you choose to accept it.... put this idea in your mind as the target. The idea that good teaching instills in the learner both a) motivation to learn and b) develops tools that our "students" can use for a lifetime so they can learn on their own, without us. This is the target. Now, what can you do at home to see that happen in your life and the lives of your children?

I would be very complimented if you would share your ideas on this topic with all 100+ of us that read this blog.

Story Musgrave

Shuttle Astronaut Story Musgrave

Six (6) Shuttle Missions
Seven (7) college Degrees.

Medical Degree (Columbia University)
MBA - UCLA
Masters in Biophysics
Masters in Literature
Bachelors in Math
Bachelors in Chemistry
Masters in Psychology

Masters in History coming

With all those degrees, there is one diploma that Musgrave missed:
He never finished High School.

www.spacestory.com

What Is Instructional Design?

I have had a few people ask me about our new venture to strive for an advanced degree. The most common question is "What is instructional Technology?"

Here are a few thoughts to describe it:

Instructional theory describes a variety of methods of instruction (different ways of facilitating human learning and development) and when to use--and not use--each of those methods. It is about how to help people learn better." Charles M. Reigeluth, University of Indiana, Bloomington. It is about how to help people learn better.

That is what strikes me to the core. This is what drives me to many of my observations and conclusions. I believe people can learn better than they currently do. At it's core, one of the reasons we home school is that I became convinced that educating our children at home, especially in the early years, "helped them learn better."

Whether it was moral values, math, english, history or shop skills, the environment we have at home has helped our children learn better. It seems lately, the evidence of this is all around me. Allison at the University of Chicago continues to pour links and resources my way, to help me prepare for this academic pursuit. She is a life long learner, and it shows. David and I have regular conversations about his experience "back in school", his professors, good and bad, and his victories and near misses, all of which is very helpful to me. Tam just had her third child, Zoe and is an example of a grounded learner. Christine just finished her masters and is in El Salvador as co-country director for a health organization. Jenn and Deb are experiencing a semester abroad in Jerusalem. Jon, working to save money for school in the fall is a self directed music aficionado, with the emphasis on self-directed. And then of course the boys at home continue down the same path, their older siblings have already benefitted from.

Like Robert K. Greenleaf says of servant-leadership, our home schooling experience has by and large successfully answsered his questions: " "The best test, and difficult to administer, is: Do those served grow as persons? Do they, while being served, become healthier, wiser, freer, more autonomous, more likely themselves to become servants? And, what is the effect on the least privileged in society? Will they benefit or at least not be further deprived?"

It would appear that in all of our children, the Greenleaf standard is being realized. This is very encouraging at this point in our family history. The seeds of faith in the early years continue to bear fruit in observable ways in our later years, in part, because we had the vision of believing that there was a better way of learning.

What Is Teaching? What Is Learning?

I read the quote above recently. It is attributed to a past president of the American Federation of Teachers, Albert Shanker. ¹ It crystalized something that has been running around in my mind for some time.

Have you read, "Jonathan Livingston Seagull"? Have you seen the movie, "Happy Feet"? There are others of a similar theme. The masses make assumptions. An individual risks his reputation because he sees life a little differently from the masses. The individual is cast out of the group for the vision in his head, but persists. In the end, whether generally accepted or not, the truth of the new vision prevails.

Don't most people make assumptions about what education is and how it should be done? All of us do. Aren't most of those assumptions based on a subjective view of our own past experience, and not an objective view of what education should or could be? I think so. Sir Kenneth Robinson in his TED lecture on creativity points this out. He says that for most people education is a topic of passion, and not just another headline in todays paper.

Take a moment, if you will, and read this statement and think about it for a while... "Teaching is telling, knowledge is facts, and learning is recall." ¹ Isn't this statement the generally accepted idea about eduction? Isn't it what we did, for the most part, when in school ourselves. We were sure it was education. We were sure it was learning. Isn't this what we believe constitutes "education"? But, what if it isn't?

What if true "education" is something different entirely? What about students being able to apply knowledge instead of just build an inventory of it? What about students being able "manipulate facts within some general framework"² instead of just possess a passing knowledge of the "facts"? What if "teaching is enabling, knowledge is understanding and learning is the active construction of subject matter"³?

Organizing information, presenting it well, answering the questions of an enquiring mind and testing for ability to recall information, is what teaching is about. OK, I get that. But what is learning about? You mean teaching and learning might be two completely separate things? Yes!

Research is bringing to the fore, more about what a learner is doing when actual learning is taking place. While this may be an over simplification, 1) learners are extending and revising prior knowledge, 2) learners are connecting meaning from something they already know, to this new thing they are considering and 3) learners are making their learning concrete when they apply it to actual problem solving situations. ⁴

Notice that learning is something that takes place inside the learner and NOT in the chasm between the mouth of the teacher and ears of the learner. It happens inside our children. If this is true, it has profound implications about what it means to educate our children.

One is summarized by Pat Montgomery, educator and founder of Clonlara Schools, "The work of a child is play." Play, from 0 to 12 or so, allows our children the time they need to draw conclusions, make connections and practice applying what they are learning, all the while preserving natural curiosity. Needless busy work in the lives of our children, often precludes this, as they are so totally engaged in the "Teaching is telling, knowledge is facts, and learning is recall" process. (I think this is why I have shied away from home schooling curriculum for the most part, especially in the younger years. They seem so much to me a replication of the busy work in the system, making the home no different than the school when it comes to having time for "learning".)

One of my favorites is taught by the Arbinger Institute, "Children learn more from watching other people learn, than from watching other people teach." ⁵This again, supports the idea that we are well served when we assume that learning takes place inside a learner, and quite often independent of the direct "teaching" of the teacher. As a father of eleven, my children have each earned a "doctorate in Life Lessons" observing the mistakes and successes of their Dad. This is been a lively classroom for them, in real time, living technicolor and often surround sound.

When active learning is taking place, it is often the result of a "teacher" creating an environment where personal discovery can take place. Our children may need facilitators and enablers more than "teachers" in much of what they do as they learn. Even more encouraging for average parents like most of us, is that people who know a lot, don't necessarily make the best facilitators or enablers.

If we as parents can empty our bowls of the cold, old soup of our past, we make room for a new hot delicious soup to warm us on a winter day. Pouring the inviting warm new soup over the old, only gives us luke warm, diluted soup. However, an all new bowl of soup consists of the assumption that learning and teaching are independent of one another, that teaching may not be telling and that learning may not be lecturing, something I feel we really knew all along, but were afraid to taste.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

1- Education for Judgment, C. Roland Christensen, xii
2- (David Cohen, "Teaching Practice: Plus ca Change" Ibid, p xii)
3- Ibid, p. xii
4- Ibid, p. xiv
5- Arbinger Institute, The Choice in Teaching and Education, p. 8, www.arbinger.com

The Reinforcements Are Coming!

Have you ever watched the movie "Gettysburg"? On a whirlwind trip of 9000+ miles in 27 days, we found ourselves traveling north from Washington DC, into Pennsylvania toward Gettysburg. We had purchased the VHS tapes of this movie and were watching it in the motorhome as we were driving. (Actually I was doing the driving and watching it in my mind as the kids watched it on the two TV's we had in the motor home) A scene I have watched over and over again is about day one.

The Union Calvary has advanced to the town of Gettysburg. The main body of the Union army is too far behind them. In the meantime the Confederate armies are also converging there and must be stopped. The army that arrives first obtains the "high ground" giving them strategic superiority over the battlefield. Union Brigadier General John Buford risks deploying his meager force of 2000+ mounted calvary along two major roads, in an attempt to lure 9000+ confederate soldiers into battle. If they fall for the trap, it would divert them from the primary objective of gaining the high ground. It is a calculated risk made by Buford that if he can create enough confusion and rile up the Confederates they will chase his troops back through the city. If the Union Army shows up soon enough, they have the chance to get to the high ground, for the battle advantage. Buford has no way of knowing how soon they will arrive, so the risk is great. It may be an effort that is all for naught.

As the battle ensues, in the movie, Buford positions himself on the high tower of a church in Gettysburg. On one side of the tower, he observes the battle, then moving to the other side of the tower he searches frantically with his binoculars for the Union Army Reinforcements who are still not in sight. At one point when the battle is turning very very badly for the Union and the overwhelming forces of the Confederate armies are chasing his forces as they retreat, he sees the first column of the Union Army coming online. It means that reinforcements have arrived and that the Union can immediately position themselves on Big and Little Round Top, and other high places with complete command of the main battlefield. This left the Confederates only one good option and that was to try and flank the Union forces, since a move up the middle would now be very difficult if not impossible. And the rest, is as they say, "is history". The Union won the battle of Gettysburg.

I remember as we drove into Gettysburg proper and I played out in my mind, the battle that had just played on the TV.Tears ran down my cheeks in empathy for Buford and his calvary. Brave men, risking everything, with impossible odds, hoping to buy enough time for reinforcements to come. They did come. The Union won the Battle of Gettysburg because of the courage of a few.

The home schooling battle is in many ways not as dire as this battle was. Yet often the months of January and February can feel as bleak as war for home schooling parents. Sometimes we need a "pick-me-up". A reminder of why we do this. Well, we got a pick-me-up" today. Our oldest daughter, the Fulbright Scholar, who is finishing her second masters at the University of Chicago, felt the need to blog about her experience as a home schooled child which led to her experience as "not a home schooled child" which then led to her returning to finish her "High School experience" as a home school child again. Her written memories of that time, reflect the learning curve we were going through as parents in the home school process.

I am so grateful that Allison on her own, finally landed home where the high ground is, instead of in the system where for some kids, the battle is often much like "Picketts Charge" on day three at Gettysburg, a disaster.

Here is the link, take a look for yourself. Public School teachers often encourage one another when their job gets bleak. This is our attempt to encourage you. Enjoy!

Christmas Season 2007

10 December 2007

Dear Family and Friends,
“Time flies on wings of lightning.” Here we are, a year older and wiser. This is the year that Cyndy was granted senior citizen discount at her favorite store: Goodwill! We put a lot of miles on our bodies this year with outdoor adventures, a trip to Ecuador and another to Germany. We have 4 at home, 3 in college, 1 away working full time, 1 on a mission, 2 away married, 6 grandchildren and another soon to arrive.

Elder Samuel C. Weiss (19) entered the MTC in Sao Paulo, Brazil mid-November. He is District Leader and a well prepared servant of the Lord Jesus Christ. He will study language for 8 weeks and then go to Cuiaba, a city due west of Brasilia near Bolivia. Average temperature there is about 119 degrees with 100% humidity! This past year when Sam wasn’t climbing on the rock wall of the community center, he worked hard earning his money for his mission and even saved enough to come with us to Quito, Ecuador to pick up Hermana Weiss the 5th (Deborah) in June. It was a grand adventure and good preparation for Samuel to see the cities where his sister labored and meeting those whose lives Deb touched as a sister missionary. Samuel was privileged to baptize his good friend, Alex, prior to leaving for Brazil.

Then in September Allison was able to join us as we made a similar trip to pick up Jonathan from his LDS missionary service in Berlin, Germany. Again, “what joy!” to see the work of the Lord going forward in places that we had been reading about in Jon’s letters for two years. Jon served as Zone Leader for over a year in three zones of the mission and was in a car for about a year, so he knew the roads and took us safely on the autoban into Switzerland where we saw the cities and met 2 of the families that Mark saw join the church 33 years earlier! (Autobahns are cool, going 220 kph or over 140 mph. Yikes!)

Cyndy and Mark spoke at the LDS National Homeschooling Association Convention in SLC, Utah this summer which meant Cyndy was able to attend BYU Education Week for the first time in 10 years. It was great to run into old friends and spend time with her sisters. She continues to attend baptisms of all the 8 year olds in her Primary class and enjoys helping out at bi-monthly Activity Days.

Mark was recently released as Young Men’s President. Last B-Ball Season, “Coach Weiss” watched his super star Sam and the team of church members and neighbors as well, take the Young Men’s Basketball team to win regional championships! He continues to teach 19-21 year olds in a Mission preparation class Tuesday nights and loves working the early morning shift at the Portland Temple Fridays. He is volunteering as adult leader (6th year) for SOGUS (BSA Jr. Leader Training) in June. Mission Prep, Leadership Training and the Temple are "home" for him.

Benjamin will be Senior Patrol Leader this coming year at Sogus and William is on staff again as Asst. Sr. Patrol Ldr. over Facilities, with Joseph attending as a learner this summer. Jonathan, Sam, Ben, Will and Joe will all now have had the benefit of advanced group dynamics training that this course provides. It is a huge commitment with over 60 hours of graduate level training each year. Benjamin is soon to achieve his Eagle Scout Rank (his project was completed 2 years ago!) and will finally have his driver’s license!

Jonathan (21) is working in the electronics department of Fred Meyer saving money to get back into college. He is making a great transition from mission life to normal life. Being an excellent "returned missionary" is not something you are automatically because you returned home, but something you learn to become in the weeks after you arrive home again. It takes effort. Deborah (23) is at BYU-Provo, teaching Spanish in the Mission Training Center. Jennifer (25) is finishing her senior year at BYU and continues teaching Mandarin Chinese there at the MTC. She was working in Seattle this summer as part of the Flourishing Families Project. Christine (27) had an internship is Washington DC this summer working with the Pan American Health Organization and able to use her Spanish. She will complete her masters in Public Health this spring. She lives in the same apartment complex in Provo, UT as Jenn and Deb. Allison (31) is at University of Chicago Lab School working as Language Lab Technology Coordinator. She serves in the Stake Primary (Music) and works at the Chicago Temple once a month.

Tamarah (29) and Jeff tried to sell their house in California, but the market downturn convinced them to stay put for the present and Jeff is working in LA District for Franklin Covey. In March, their little Spencer Mark was born pre-maturely and is now “safely home” with Jesus. Another little spirit will come to their home in April. Tam was called to serve as Relief Society President in May.

David (30) in the Elders Quorum Presidency and Launna, working with the Young Women, had their #4 “David Abraham” join their family in July. David made the tough choice and is leaving Microsoft to attend college at BYU-Idaho in January. Selling the house and moving and starting school is all part of a grand adventure for his family. We will so miss their frequent visits to Vancouver.

Homeschooling is not too tough this year. Ben and William do internet courses and this year are amazingly disciplined at staying on top of the course work. Their personal discipline in this area, is really gratifying to Mom and Dad, as well as the learning. William (15) also attends band, choir and takes biology and Spanish at our new Union High School Joseph (13) gets more of Mom’s personal time. We’ve read some great books this year. Joseph keeps adding to his fine collection of skateboard ramps. Benjamin (17) started his own indoor Soccer Team. He has Joseph and Jon and even William playing soccer with him in the back yard or at nearby parks. Ben worked at a cycle shop during the summer and has the fanciest bike around.

Some of the highlights of 2007 have to do with hiking-camping-and youth super-activities: Camp Cooper (Wilamina, OR); Camp Pioneer (Sisters, OR); Cape Lookout and Ft. Stevens (Oregon Coast); rafting on the Deschutes; Leavenworth, WA; Silver Falls (Silverton, OR); hiking to waterfalls (Columbia River Gorge); and a week at Port Townsend, WA have made for some great memories this year. We have more "high adventure" in our family than they have in the scouts. Ultimate Frisbee, air pressured backyard rocket launching, and shotgun shooting are the new sports that the boys have experimented with in 2007. Mark has been doing a lot of reading, trying to decide what to do after leaving his company. If any of you need a good trainer, teacher, consultant, don't hesitate to call.

This year we’ve had some big events in our home. In March, my sister came to live with us while looking for work. In June we hosted a welcome home from Iraq party (100) for friends. In July we had a funeral gathering for a nephew who passed away (60). Also this summer, the aging paint on our home was covered with a fresh coat by our very own “College Painters”, Christine and Deborah. Then we had our big Thanksgiving celebration (42-indoors!) before Samuel left. Our home is always open to anyone who wants to come sleep on the hide-a-bed. Soon we will actually have a guest room!

We are thankful for your friendship and love hearing your family news. Keep in touch. “We proclaim that The Lord Jesus Christ truly is the Savior of all. He whose birth the Christian world celebrates is indeed the Son of God, the Redeemer, the promised Messiah. No message is more significant than the one He brought. No event is of greater importance than His atoning sacrifice and subsequent resurrection. And no mortal tongue can express sufficient thanks for all that Jesus has done for us.” (First Pres. Christmas Message, 1985) Check out the great website at www.mormon.org.

Mark and Cyndy Weiss 360 882-7995
weissmom@comcast.net dadweiss@mac.com

Authority with our Children

In his book, "The Servant" author and lecturer Jim Hunter makes this observation, "With the proper will, we can chose to love, the verb, which is about identifying and meeting the legitimate needs, not wants, of those we lead. When we meet the needs of others we will , by definition, be called upon to serve and even sacrifice. When we serve and sacrifice for others, we build authority or influence, the "Law of the Harvest," as Theresa said. And when we build authority with people, then we have earned the right to be called leader."

Love, the verb, is all about behaving well toward others, even when we disagree with them or are irritated or frustrated with them. Love, the feeling, as we all know, comes and goes. So it can't be the kind of trustable love spoken of by the prophets. Charity never faileth. Yet, with love the verb active in our lives, we can always choose to behave well toward others, or never fail them in how we treat them.

In many cases, this is naturally a part of the home schooling environment, because of a form of natural selection. Parents who are willing to take the responsibility upon them of nurturing at home, offer a model of service and sacrifice for their children that is invaluable. Invaluable, because children learn so much more from what they see modeled than from what they are told.

A family name, at the very least, is the legacy we leave behind for future generations to view and judge. Choosing to model and impress in the lives of our children, lasting values such as true leadership, has the potential to extend into the lives of those in our current version of human kind, but also in lives beyond. It is so worth it.

Why Pre-School May Hurt Our Children

Read this:

Family Research Abstract of the Week: Is Preschool Really Necessary?
Is Preschool Really Necessary?

Even as the enrollment of children in kindergarten remains optional in most states, the daycare lobby and "early learning" advocates would like to make preschool universal or mandatory on the presumption that pre-K programs promote the "school readiness" of children. Yet a study by Lisa N. Hickman at the Ohio State University challenges their agenda, finding that children who attend daycare or preschool the year prior to kindergarten do not gain greater social or cognitive skills and in some measures end up lagging behind their peers who enjoy the attention of their parents exclusively.

Hickman looked at data from the Early Childhood Longitudinal Study, Kindergarten Cohort, which began tracking more than 21,000 children who started kindergarten in the fall of 1998. Improving upon the methodology of existing early childhood studies, she conducted both cross-sectional as well as longitudinal tests, the latter of which more accurately isolate effects of various preschool experiences over time.

Her cross-sectional tests confirm some existing research that finds that children who are enrolled in daycare or preschool start kindergarten with significantly higher cognitive skills, although that advantage is cut in half in tests that control for family background characteristics. At the same time, her cross-sectional analysis also confirms that children who follow the more traditional pattern of parental care start kindergarten with significantly better social skills in three of four different measures in tests with and without controls. (But Read on!!!)

To test whether these patterns persist as the children move into higher grades, Hickman's longitudinal tests control for fall test scores in kindergarten and first grade. During kindergarten, whatever advantages daycare or preschool children enjoy in math and reading become statistically insignificant in tests with and without background controls. During the first grade, the daycare/ preschool children have significantly lower math scores (p<.05). In both grades, these children scored significantly lower in the "approaches to learning" measure, which measured teacher perception of student attentiveness and persistence, a reversal of what was found in the cross-sectional test.

The longitudinal model also reveals even more so than the cross-sectional analysis that daycare/ preschool children exhibit poorer social skills throughout kindergarten. Such children have worse self-control, have worse interpersonal skills, and externalize problems more than their peers under parental care (p<.001 for each coefficient in tests with and without background controls). The only social measure (internalizing problem behaviors) where these children outperformed their parental-care peers in the first model is now insignificant.

While these findings will not endear Hickman to the "early learning" crowd, they nonetheless suggest that something other than the welfare of children may be driving the current pre-K craze.

(Source: Lisa N. Hickman, "Who Should Care for Our Children? The Effects of Home Versus Center Care on Child Cognition and Social Adjustment," Journal of Family Issues 27 [May 2006]: 652-684.)

Proximate Praise Promotes Progress

I am an advisor for a BSA Venture Crew. A group of about 10 young men whose purpose is to learn self-direction, leadership and teaching skills through the adventure activities that we conduct throughout the year. Several months ago, while transporting some of the crew on one of their activities, I asked them if there was a purpose behind the activity we were on or if the activity was all about just having fun. Either way would have been good for me. The answer I received surprised me.

One young man, launched into a fairly emotional tirade about activities that had no purpose, and that were only done so we could say we did them. Hiking without a purpose attached to it, was the major gripe. "I can't stand hiking just to hike." I could go on, but I got the idea that it was not enough to do something, they needed and wanted to know why.

As we have given each young man a chance to organize and lead activities, it is clear to me, that each "opportunity" is a fairly significant risk taken by them. To their credit, they seem to take the risk on as a challenge. The risk is that they will fail in front of their peers. Peer acceptance is a significant risk at this time in their lives, so I give them kudos for even attempting.

When things are running well, an adult is assigned as a coach to ensure that the particular youth leader thinks things out, prepares in advance, and organizes the flow of the event, so that it comes off well. When well prepared, the youth leader runs the event without adult intrusion and the event comes off well.

One might think that the process has ended here. In fact, I have found it has not. Even a well run activity will not contribute to the confidence level of a young man, IF he does not receive positive feedback from his peers right then. Too often, we assume that he must feel great, because we have observed from the wings, how well he has done. However, since his risk was not running the activity, but running it in front of his peers, it follows that his reward must come from them as well.





When an adult leader does not provide an opportunity for peer review and control it, by requiring that both Pro's and Con's be considered in the feedback, even a great performance can turn into a perception nightmare for the young man who was at the center of the performance.

It is critical, therefore, that two things occur. 1) Time be given at the end of an activity for feedback and reflection. 2) In a controlled fashion peers reward the risk taken with their attention and fair evaluation.

What does this have to do with home schooling? Everything. Our children don't live in a vacuum, never mind the socialization nay sayers. They do interact with others, if only other family members ie cousins, aunts and uncles. Their interaction with others can tell them indirectly, how their choices are playing out. Especially their choice to home school. If their efforts to be self directed, curious and industrious look good to us, and are pleasing to us, but go un-reinforced at the moment we observe it, the deposits into their emotional bank account will get drained off pretty quick when they interact with others. Acting from a deficit is painful for them. The result will be discouragement, personally and educationally.

Our children may claim that they don't need praise and reinforcement to continue home schooling. What they don't or won't say is that they in fact do much better when they ARE praised. Their efforts are more pleasing to them, when we observe their choices, praise them immediately as we observe their positive efforts and are verbal about it. After all, besides being our children, they are human beings as well.

We're Sailing

This may sound nuts, in fact it is nuts, but
I can't see the name "Bob" without thinking of the hilarious movie "What About Bob?" with Bill Murray and Richard Dreyfuss. When I need to laugh, this is still a sure fire way to get me there, no matter how many times I have viewed it. The last time we watched it, I came up with an idea that would bring me financial independence, guaranteed. A movie of our own titled, "What About Mom and Dad?" about how many people we drive crazy without even knowing it, because we home school? Maybe we are driving our kids crazy too?

I think for many of the parents who know us, we do drive them crazy. Especially the non-homeschooling ones. Crazy, because we are comfortable with the home schooling foundation that we establish with our kids from the early years. Our boys have found out at scouts and church that there isn't spell checking when writing on a black board. So they get embarrassed when they can't spell even an easy word. I drive others crazy, when I don't freak out when that happens. Ben is making our families newest version of a hover craft. This one actually works on water. That we consider this more "educational" than much of traditional book learning, I think drives some crazy.

I drive some crazy, because when they want to ascribe some level of success to our family in home schooling, I respond that so much of what we do is so normal and ordinary. They want to believe what we do is way beyond their abilities, and I don't let them off the hook that easy. Much of what we do is something any person of average intelligence can do. Just come and see for yourself, I say. They rarely do. I think they are afraid. Afraid that it IS easier than they think and if that were the case, they would have to consider it viable for them. So the whole thing drives them crazy. Meanwhile, we shuffle along.

Yet, while the content of much of our home schooling is much easier than others want to believe, there is one aspect of it that may be extraordinary.... that we were willing to try it out and have faith that it would work out. One reason we took the leap of faith was best described recently as a friend of ours, Doreen Blanding, made this comment on a home schooling list I read.

"I truly feel that home schooling has given me more knowledge and understanding than all the years I sat in a formal classroom. It is quite amazing to me how much I have learned and pointed out how much I didn't know. Terrifying at times, but wonderful most of the time because a lot of pieces of the puzzle are starting to fall in place and I'm beginning to see the picture."

ssssshhhhh! Don't tell anyone. We educate at home because, learning along side our children, WE also benefit. Crazy huh? But you musn't pass it on, it might drive others crazy, because.... we're sailing.

Where did that come from?

I received several positive comments about the last entry regarding packaging up your style of home schooling so that others stay off your back. One of the comments reminded me where I first learned to appreciate this idea of packaging stuff up in words. And how it can be useful to home schoolers. I guess we call it spinning today.

I had flown my dad from Portland Oregon up to Winfield British Columbia in a light plane. We were selling small RV furnaces to Vangard Trailers in Winfield BC. Dad was negotiating with the General Manager, who was the type who asked very strategic questions, to give him as much negotiating leverage as possible. My father had such a way of handling people like him.

He was asking questions about the company who manufactured the furnaces, their financial where-with-all and how substantial they were in plant capacity, how much market share they had, questions like that. Dad mentioned that this particular company had several divisions including one that was involved with solid fuels. When he said "solid fuels" the General Manager (GM) was really taken back. The way Dad said it, it was so impressive, high tech, etc.

Later in the afternoon, we got the commitment for the business and just before we were leaving, the GM asked my Dad "Dave, just exactly what did you mean when you mentioned solid fuels?" I think he was thinking about fuel that would go in a solid fuel rocket booster like on the space shuttle. High tech stuff. Dad responded, "wood and coal burning stoves for heating homes." The look on the GM's face was so precious. Here he had thought solid fuels were something really exotic and in the end, it was wood and coal.

We all just laughed so hard. Jim had been had, but the business was ours. Packaging things up has meant something to me ever since.

I am not as gifted at packaging as my dad was. I usually tend "call 'em as I see 'em". Nevertheless, packaging things up in the right words can make a huge difference. "Lap books", for instance, is so much more interesting than "self directed study." For us, "Got your Saxon done?" slides down the throat better than "Is your math done?" Asking about progress on rebuilding the quad was responded to much more enthusiastically than "have you done your small engine class homework?" Then there was the "class" on building a hover craft. Or the structural engineering "class" that built a bridge structure out of paper, to see how much weight it could hold. Learning activities themselves are a way of packaging up some pretty sophisticated ideas in a way that seems to be more effective and at the same time fun.

Try it out for yourself. See if you are having more fun than before.

I Actually Want To Get Better

A simple 3 x 5 card. But man is it effective. At the end of a recent training session where I was leading it, I asked the participants to write down their name, the date, one thing that they learned during the session and how they envisioned using that in their life from this point forward. This is helpful to me as a trainer, because I get a snapshot to see what from the training is making a possible difference. Sometimes, when no one mentions the entire point of the training, it is clear that I need to review what really went on versus what I envisioned would go on.

Anyway, one card said simply, "I hate change." That was it. I really love this guy. He is the salt of the earth type. He gives all he has in what he does. He just wants to be left alone. He doesn't want to be challenged to change. If he makes a change or improves, he wants it to be his idea, without outside influence and when he is ready not when someone else tells him it may be necessary. Are most people like this? I am not sure yet. Should I take a straw pole, or is the answer to that question so evident, so obvious, that I am the only one walking around with a grocery bag over my head?

What this leads to today for me, is how much I respect people, who for whatever reason, embrace change, and progress. Who are truth seeking missiles and are trying to improve each day in being a truth liver. And this, not in concept alone, but in action, in choices, in what they do. As a group, even though we are diverse, it is my observation that home schoolers seem to be willing to risk change and attempt progress more than others. I love being around you. I love your energy, your face set to the wind, your eyes focussed and keen, your step quick and with purpose and determination. Most of all I love that even being idealists, I don't see a whole lot of "holier than thou". That is good.

At home schooling conventions I have taught at, the one thing I like about the retail expos is watching the moms and some dads, looking booth to booth with intent. They are looking for something, anything that they can use to help their children. When they find it, they are willing to change course, willing to risk, and willing to pioneer yet one more new thing, even though it all requires energy, sacrifice and trust. "I am willing to change" to benefit my kids, is printed on their foreheads. You are people I LOVE to be around. You are a second home to me.

I am thankful I believe in a God, who expects me to change, to progress, and even facilitates it daily, because he was willing to experience the pain of change and suffer for change, that we might not have to suffer as much, as we improve and progress. I am better today than a while ago. I am thankful that the pain of change isn't so debilitating, because He suffers most of it for me. When I am around others who are on this path of change and love it, I feel I have found heaven on earth.