I May Have Found It

I had a wonderful interview with the Assistant Dean of the Huntsman School of business today. He is assisting me in some research I am doing and a short paper I am writing. One idea that came out of the discussion has stuck with me all day.

I am not sure why it is, but as home educators we often say, and I have said, that there are as many approaches to educating at home as there are children. At the same time we make that statement, we are kind of also saying, that any method of instruction will do. So you choose your way and I will choose mine and since our children are different the whole world is at peace. You don't criticize my choice and I won't criticize yours. Mutually assured educational choice. Peace in tension.

I will always respect educational choice, personal choice, freedom to choose. More and more, however, the consequences of those choices are becoming more clear. In other words, the method of instruction does make a difference. I just read tonight the following written by educational theorists, Marlene Scardamalia and Carl Bereiter in their article, "Computer Support for Knowledge-Building Communities". (The title of the article obscures the focus of their theory so don't be too put off by that.)

They said: "Although schools are devoted to teaching useful cognitive skills and formal knowledge, they are not designed to foster the progressive problem solving that generates the vast informal knowledge that has been found to characterize expert competence...." (Scardamalia-Bereiter 1994)

Without going into the details of the article, they contend that there are visible forms of knowledge, that are stressed in most of the efforts to educate children. Such visible forms of knowledge are acknowledged largely because they ARE visible and obvious to both teachers and parents. This kind of obvious knowledge also fits neatly into accepted forms of testing and evaluation, as well as being easily observed, measured and compared. Traditional methods of education support and encourage this visible knowledge.

However, what is not easily seen, appreciated, evaluated or easily assessed are the other important individual capacities that are the result of fostering, "the progressive problem solving that generates the vast informal knowledge that has been found to characterize expert competence." (Scardamalia-Bereiter 1994) The capacities I am talking about, such as judgment, discernment, application of knowledge outside the learning context, synthesis, adaptation, etc. are all too often quietly and effectively swept aside. As Clyde Freeman Herreid put it,

"What does our current teaching method produce? Answer: A cadre of students who if they remember anything about science it is facts, facts and more facts that can be used to answer questions on "Jeopardy," "The Wheel of Fortune," and "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" We produce people who can't see any reason to understand mitosis or the Second Law of Thermodynamics because they know deep in their hearts they will never need to know this. What good is this information? We clearly fail to convince them. It's not that they try to forget this information, it just never gets into their long-term memory banks.

We faculty just don't get it. Even though we passed through the same mind-numbing process ourselves and have "learned" the same things and forgotten them just as fast, we seem to think that everyone has to pass through the same hazing process we did. After all, we survived. Someday in graduate school or beyond we might finally figure out how to use the "book learning." But perhaps not. It will never dawn on most of us that there must be a better way." (Herreid, 2003)

It is not my purpose tonight to explore what might be the possible "better way". In large, that is what the myriad of learning theories are all about, attempts to figure out that "better way". However, at what point does it dawn on us, that our generation's concerns with the education, safety and moral conditioning of our children, is not unique to our generation. For the last 100+ years, not 100+ months, bright minds such as John Dewey at the first of the 20th century to John Holt in our generation have concluded that the system is failing our children and method, not the teacher, is at the center of it.

What I have finally come to grips with is that method does matter. If Cyndy and I would have set as a goal for our children to give them minds that were full of facts, figures, historical dates, and word definitions alone, it was our responsibility to select a method of teaching to use with them that was efficient and effective in accomplishing just that. However, if we also wanted, in addition to the aforementioned goals, other skills like leadership, decision making ability, judgment, discernment, ability to communicate, moral fiber, etc. it was our obligation to select additional learning methods that best accomplish the building of those things in our our children. Method matters. A screwdriver just isn't very effective as a hammer. A spoon just isn't that effective as a can opener. The tool or the method one choses, makes a difference.

I have in my mind, the development of additional capacities in each of us, and am on the hunt for the teaching methods that will make that possible and make those capacities stick. In a recent stint with young men in a youth program, I can now see that parents were not interested in these kinds of capacities being developed in their sons because the process to make that happen, was not acceptable to them. They wanted and want the more visible forms of development, the more acceptable form of learning, to them and their sons, than the other forms of capacity that require a different approach. What a sad, but predictable choice. Sad, because like Herreid said, "Someday in graduate school or beyond we might finally figure out how to use the "book learning." But perhaps not. It will never dawn on most of us that there must be a better way." (Herreid, 2003)

Existing models serve a valuable purpose. However, when it comes to building the capacities of leadership, and character, commonly accepted educational methods just don't serve. I am now blessed to be in the hunt, when it comes to that something better. In these last few weeks, it has been nice to find out, after all these years, that there are actually some pretty smart people, who have already brought back the very game I have been hunting for. I get to hunt with them now for a while. I am so happy.

Do You Want More Influence With Your Children?

Teaching Leadership in the Home Series - #1

(NOTE: When I talk about leadership, I am talking about the art of getting
things done through other people, who help because they want to.
This is leadership through influence, which gets things done
AND builds people up simultaneously, as opposed to leadership through power
which gets things done, often at the sacrifice of interpersonal relationships.)

I don't know why or how we came upon it. I know it was early in our marriage, but after we had our first few of eleven children. It may have been after a family visit, as we were driving home. We were discussing the difference between my father's approach to being a dad and my mom's approach to being a mom. In any case, Cyndy and I both decided that in our home, we wanted to raise leaders. I am sure we didn't understand leadership as I have defined it above. I think we meant that we wanted them to be independent deciders, independent thinkers, independent doers and be able to communicate well. I don't think we visualized them having winning personalities or powerful speakers. We both kind of felt we would know leadership in our children when we saw it, and also know it, when they were followers of the crowd instead. As our children have grown up, we still all have a long way to go in becoming leaders.

This is one reason why we decided to home school. If for no other reason, deciding to home school sent a message to our children that for their parents at least,  the world is OUR oyster and we as a family would always feel comfortable using what was good and discarding the rest, with little or no concern for the thoughts of others around us. This is still true. We have always tried to follow an inner compass, instead of making decisions based on what others thought or valued or what we had personally experienced growing up. The fact that my parents gave us such a hassle for choosing home schooling as well as most of our married siblings, meant little to us, because we were so sure of our inner compass. We heeded them not.

I have always felt that our children are influenced far more from who we are and how we act vis-a vis our values, than what we say or preach to them. So this independent attitude, and our living true to it, has imprinted on our children, that they are free to stand up for the right and expect us to support them. And we do!

Yet there is more. Again, in "The Servant" by James Hunter, he forwards the idea that building influence with others, or authority, as he calls it, is the result of three elements. They are service, sacrifice and meeting the legitimate needs of others. Most responsible parents, serve their children. Most sacrifice for them. But meeting legitimate needs instead of wants, is often a problem. Not doing this well, can erode our influence with those we love the most. 

In order to meet the  legitimate needs of our children,  we must have a clear vision in our minds, of the kind of skills and attributes we feel our children need to possess. Have you ever taken the time to actually write down what skills you want your children to have and what attributes you want them to develop while in your home? Try it. Right now. Take a minute and write down some thoughts regarding these two topics, skills and attributes. Then for each one, write down why each of these skills and attributes is truly important for your child to possess. This can get a bit sticky, in that often a dad,  for instance, often wants desperately for a son to be a jock like him. Or a mother "needs" her daughter to love music, or cooking because she does. Of course, this isn't always fair. So try to be as objective as you can in making the list. Objective and honest. 

Finally once you have decided on a few things, ask yourself, what kind of experiences does my son or daughter need to have, in order to gain this skill or develop this attribute. Write those down as well. This exercise should help you crystalize your intentions toward your children, and help you be more consistent in your interactions with them. 

One quick story. Sorry, it's a personal one. I lettered in three high school sports my junior and senior year. There were only two in our class to do that. After playing basketball my  junior year and being one of three to make the team as a junior, I really learned to love the game and wanted badly to do well my senior year. I told my dad that I didn't want to risk injury to my legs by playing football my senior year and preferred to use the time to improve my basketball skills. My dad said that when I   accepted the letter as a football player, my junior year, I obligated myself at that time, to play my senior year. I had no option. He expected me to play football. 

Well, I did play football, I did injure my knees (plural) and at the end of the season, I came down with mononucleosis. So much for Senior Basketball. But you know things still worked out. I did get a basketball scholarship to play in college. I had a good experience, and I learned a powerful lesson. Commitment. I learned that true commitment is not something given lightly and comes with responsibility. When you commit, you accept the good and the bad at the same time. It all comes together. All for good too. Just like building an enduring marriage and family. 

My dad was right. I had a legitimate need to learn about commitment and taking the good with the bad. He saw to it that I learned something important, because he knew I needed to learn this tough lesson even if I didn't want to learn it. This kind of example in leadership  has served our family so well. I look at my children and endure the complaining and arguing and attitude that sometimes occurs, and I endure it well, because I am meeting their legitimate needs, not wants. 

Over time, serving them, sacrificing for them, and meeting their legitimate needs time and time again, I build a powerful influence in their lives. When it comes down to it, if I asked them to walk through walls because our family really needed them to, they would. Or at least they would try. 

So what can you begin doing right now, to build more influence with your children? Why not share some examples of how this has worked or not worked in your life on the blog?